No Remorse, No Regret
by Master Jinn
Summary: Obi-Wan reflects back on his life and his future


TITLE: No Remorse, No Regret  


AUTHOR: Master Jinn  


E-MAIL: nvanha@sjcd.cc.tx.us  


WEBSITE: users.ev1.net/~cjdamien/Pages/Main%20Page/JediDominion.html  


RATING: PG  


CATEGORY: Star Wars/Old Republic  


SPOILERS: End of TPM EPI  


KEYWORDS: Obi-Wan  


SUMMARY: A brief story of when Obi-Wan first gets to Tantooine and gives Luke to Owen Lars to care for. Obi-Wan looks back on his mistakes, and the future.

DISCLAIMER: As always the characters of Obi-Wan Kenobi,   
Qui-Gon Jinn, Yoda, Darth Maul, and any others used belong to   
George Lucas and Lucasfilm LTD. Who ever owns the   
Highlander characters and others possibly mentioned in this   
story, they own the rights to them. NO copyright infringement is   
intended by this. It was all in good fun. Enjoy and let me know   
what you think. =)

*******************  
Owen Lars made the final assent to the small house on the cliff side. The duel suns of Tatoonine beard down upon him with their heat but he was used to them. He had lived under them all his life. He stopped briefly, covering his eyes as he looked up the final steps. There, on the cliff's edge, stood a lone figure. He was dress in his usual garbs..., that of a Jedi. His hair rustled gently in the wind, barely moving because of its shortness. He looked regal, noble in fact, but worn and tired as well. The man had lived a hard life..., the hardest of them all..., that of a Jedi.   


Owen climbed the final last steps and joined the man to look out across the desert. It was quite, peaceful in fact. The only sounds heard were that of the wind cutting through the rocks and the distant growls of banthas..., that..., and their own breathing. The silence was almost deafening..., and the tension was thick as well. Neither man said a word, but then none were needed.  


Obi-Wan Kenobi stood as the suns began to set..., set on a life he was leaving behind..., perhaps never to return to again. His heart began to ache..., ache for the loss of his life, but also for the loss of what was to be. He lowered his head and looked at his hands.  


"So you have finally returned..., returned home," Owen finally said, breaking the silence, "You did the right thing you know."  


Obi-Wan remained silent, still looking at his hands. They had once held so much power, wielding the weapon of a Jedi and helping him control the energy that flowed through them. But that was in the past, perhaps never to be felt again. He finally spoke. His words were soft, barely heard, "Did I?" he asked unsure, "I should have the boy with me, training him..., for in time..., he will be to old."  


Owen suddenly felt anger inside him, "No," he growled, "that is no life for the boy to lead, look what it has done to you," he stated coldly.  


Obi-Wan flinched slightly at his brother's words. They had hurt, cutting deep into him. The echoes of his failures came crashing about him, washing over him in his memories.  


He felt the failure of his promise, a promise he had made long ago to a dying man, a dying friend and mentor. He had promised he would train a boy..., a young boy filled with great power..., the power of the Force. His former Master had seen great promise in this boy, he was the "Chosen One" he said, but he was the only one who had. Obi-Wan, like the others of the Jedi council, did not. The boy's future was clouded..., unclear..., but because of this promise, he trained the boy.  


Then his other failure crashed in about him. He failed to see what was happening..., or did he? The boy had grown..., became his friend..., brother even..., then turned on him..., turned to the darkside. Obi-Wan then felt the same pain his Master must had felt when his second Padawan had done the same. The heartache was great and filled his very being. How it all happened he could not remember..., or just didn't want to. But none the less, it did, now the Jedi and all around were paying the price.  


"Brother," Owen said softly, "the life you lead is in the past, over and dead. But you are alive," he said turning to met his brother's sadden blue eyes, "you must live on. We would like you to come live with us..., I'm asking you as well."  


Obi-Wan knew his brother had meant this. Though they had been distant for many years, the love of family was still there. "No," he said, "My life is here, in solitude..., for now. Besides, if I join you.., I may only bring heartache..., and death."  


"And who will keep you company, the banthas, your..., Force?" Owen asked a little irritated.  


Obi-Wan only smiled slightly, "The banthas aren't so bad, once you get used to the smell..., and yes..., the Force will keep me company. It has for so many years. It is the one thing that has not left me."  


"Your family has never left you brother," Owen retorted.  


"I know," Obi-Wan said simply, "the boy is our last hope. When the time comes, I will come to get him, to start his training."  


"No," Owen snapped, "I will not allow it. He will not be taken from this family. He will grow up to be a normal child, as he was intended. He will know nothing of this miserable Force. All it does is tear lives apart and cause great heartache. I will not see this boy go through it like you are now."  


"But he is our last hope..., last hope for balance..., and peace," Obi-Wan countered.  


"He will not fight your battle. I will fight you till my death if need be. You gave me the child for safe keeping, away from his father, the father you created. I will hold my promise, if not to you, then to his mother. This boy will not see the death and destruction the Force brings, he will only see the love and happiness a peaceful life without the Force can bring." Owen turned to leave, knowing his words had hurt Obi-Wan, but he did not care. "You are still welcome to visit brother, but mind you, one mention of your former life or of the Force and the boy's father, you will not be welcomed..., ever."  


Obi-Wan watched as Owen left, the words he said etched into Obi-Wan's memory. Had he done the right thing? So many questions of doubt traveled through his mind. Owen was right, his life as a Jedi was over, this he had resigned to. But he would never forget it. The weight of the galaxy rested on one boy's shoulders, much like that of another little boy..., a boy who turned out to be..., his greatest failure.  


Obi-Wan looked back out at the horizon. The suns had now set and the cold of the night air now nipped at him. He shivered slightly and sighed. He was truly alone. Alone with his own thoughts, alone with his own memories.  


"Did I do the right thing?" he asked himself aloud.  


"Do not doubt the ways of the Force, my Padawan," a voice whispered to him softly.  


Obi-Wan held his breath, recognizing the softness of the voice. He had not heard it in years, it seemed so distant in his memories. "Master?" he whispered unsure.  


Obi-Wan then felt it, the warmth and loving feel he had always felt whenever the great man was around. It washed over him in a wave, wrapping around him, caressing his very being. Tears formed in his eyes. Suddenly the failure of his life crashed about him again, causing him to drop to his knees. His body trembled uncontrollably as the tears raced down his face.  


"My Padawan, do not cry," the voice said tenderly, "You have not failed."  


Obi-Wan looked up, seeing his former Master standing beside him. He watched as Qui-Gon knelt down beside him and placed a hand on his shoulder. He wanted to fall into the great man's arms, feel the warmth and love they would bring to him. He wanted to feel the comfort again, he had missed it so. He looked into Qui-Gon's dark blue eyes, seeing the love that had remained through all these years. "I failed you," he choked out softly, "I failed you in death, and..., Anakin..., he is no more."  


"I know, little one, I know," Qui-Gon comforted, "But all is not lost, you have not failed me, and more importantly, you have not failed yourself."  


"But he has turned..., turned to the darkside. The Jedi are no more because of my failure," Obi-Wan cried.  


"You still live, and others as well," Qui-Gon instructed, "As long as there is breath in your lungs, the Jedi still live. Remember as well, little one, a young boy still lives, as well as his sister. You saw to that, my Padawan. Hope is still alive. One day you will see the truth in the words I am telling you."  


Obi-Wan wiped the tears away. Yes, the boy and his sister still lived, another Skywalker was still in the stars, weaving their destiny into them.  


"Now that you are here, you will have time to reflect on the past, and the future. I told you once you had much still to learn. I am here now to teach you once more. The Force is vast, more so than we as Jedi have ever dreamed. The power within the Force is great, no one man can control it. It controls us in a way. We must learn to live in harmony with it, accept its paths. The futures you will see have many paths, not one is definite. But the ending is the same. Balance will be restored. Maybe not in your lifetime, maybe not in the next, but one day it will be." Qui-Gon looked out across the planes of the desert.   


Obi-Wan joined him. It seemed to waver slightly, revealing the many futures as he let the Force flow around him. Many were extremely sad, horrifying in fact, others were joyous. He saw his own death, being reunited with his Master at long last. He also witnessed the death of the galaxy, the death of the Jedi Order..., forever. But he found a new promise..., a new found life..., of light and understanding. He slowly looked over at his Master as his shimmering form stood beside him.  


"I will not leave you Obi-Wan, not ever, I promise you this," Qui-Gon said turning to Obi-Wan, "but Anakin is the one to restore balance to the Force. How he is to achieve this is not yet known..., but he will play a part in it."  


"Perhaps it is not Annie directly..., but his children who will restore the balance," Obi-Wan commented.  


"Perhaps," Qui-Gon said looking up at the stars. "Only time and the Force truly know." Qui-Gon faced Obi-Wan. He saw the pain and sorrow in the brave man's eyes. Obi-Wan had grown so much since he had last seen him. Pain was etched deep into the Jedi's eyes as well as his feelings of failure. But Qui-Gon knew with time, with his guidance, this would all fade and Obi-Wan would find a new understanding, and renewed faith in the Force. "Obi-Wan, look at the stars," he instructed.  


Obi-Wan obeyed. He had often looked to the stars for guidance, much like his Master had done. They were very much alike Obi-Wan realized, more so than he had thought.   


As Obi-Wan looked up, Qui-Gon waved his hand before them, "See all these stars. Each one holds life uncertain. Some may already be dead, others just forming. The paths of the future are much like them. A path was placed before you, you chose your path. And with every passing day of your life, you chose a new one. There was no remorse, no regret, no reward for the ones you chose, because you chose them with your heart. You followed their paths and they now have lead you here. Another one will be placed before you, then another, this will continue throughout your life. And even if you choose the wrong one, another one will still be there. Time will not stop, life will not stop, and neither will the Force. It will live on forever, with or without the Jedi. We are mere specks in it folds. Come," Qui-Gon gestured as he kneeled again. "Join me in meditation and see the universe as it truly is."  


Again Obi-Wan obeyed his Master. He knelt beside Qui-Gon, closing his eyes and relaxing. He felt the Force wrap around him, course through his very soul and out around him. The Force pulsed through his body, freeing him of it. He felt like he was floating in space, this thoughts and feelings entwining with it. Then he felt another familiar pulse in the Force, it was Qui-Gon's. They joined into one and Obi-Wan felt his love, his warmth again. He drank it in and wrapped it around him like a protective blanket. It caressed his and soothed his soul.  


Qui-Gon smiled slightly, he liked the feeling as well, being reunited with his Padawan, the man he viewed as his son. But he had to show Obi-Wan that there was hope and that he did not fail.   


They traveled the stars together, seeing the vastness of the universe. It unfolded before them, showing them the death and creation of life. It was a horrifying but also beautiful sight. Qui-Gon could feel that Obi-Wan was now grasping that the Force was extremely vast and their lives were truly mere specks in it. For time and the Force continued on.   


Obi-Wan slowly opened his eyes. "I still have very much to learn about the Force," he whispered. He now understood why Qui-Gon had always wanted him to keep his concentration on the here and now, for what he was shown, truly overwhelmed him. And Qui-Gon was also correct, there were many paths to the future, not even the Force could show one clear one, except that balance would be restored to it again.  


Qui-Gon smiled slightly again. He was glad to be teaching again, especially Obi-Wan, his one true pride and joy in his existence. He knew in the days to come, their bond that had been broken by death would be rejoined again..., rejoined in a deeper way..., and this time..., not even death would separate the two.  


Fin (for now) 


End file.
